Then finally came the moment when I realized that not only had my life NEVER truly followed the plan - it NEVER would. At 43-years-of-age after 23-years-of-marriage spent trying to follow The Plan I found myself a divorced-single-mother-of-three. Ever since then I have been exploring un-anticipated territory and learning to truly live each day as it comes.
Welcome to Life as I Never Expected It To Be.
Just what was my relationship status on social media with Life as I Never Expected It To Be? In the beginning I was not ready to advertise as "Single." And just what the heck did "It's Complicated" really mean? Eventually the inevitable happened and the idea of dating again became a reality. Actually it was thrust at me when I discovered my daughters setting up a profile for me on an internet dating service. Guess I did not have to wonder whether they were ready for Mom to start dating. Instead I was told, "Mom, you need to meet someone. And the sooner the better." Yeah - this was NOWHERE in the Plan. After making it clear that Internet Dating Was NOT something I was ready to deal with my girls agreed to wait to activate my online profile if I promised to be more open to dating "in the real world." Need I point out that I NEVER EXPECTED anything like this? It still floors me that the best source of dating advice for me at this time was my then 15-year-old daughter. All the adult friends I had were married. "Just go for it, Mom." "If he doesn't like you then HE'S the idiot." "Don't wear normal MOM clothes - here let me look in your closet. Ok, tomorrow we are taking you shopping." I never dated much in high school. It felt like such a foreign and different game being divorced with children. Then I did meet a guy I really liked and let myself fall a tad bit hard. BUT....yeah, well, in some ways dating HADN'T changed much since high school.
Life as I Never Expected It To Be has continued to include getting married - for the SECOND time. This happens in one month's time. This just floors me. I never, never, never thought I would have a SECOND husband. Or be a SECOND wife. Or be a STEP-mom. Or have to deal with not only MY EX for parenting issues - but My Guy's EX as well. Life keeps redefining itself. The Plan has gone so far out the window that it might as well have never existed in the first place.
Life as I Never Expected It To Be has me in the uncomfortable but most authentic place I have ever been in my now 46-years-of-life. It continues to teach me to quit trying to fit myself and others in a pre-described plan. Live One Day at A Time - sometimes Even One minute at Time - because the Plan is a LIE, but life as I Never Expected It To Be is real and better than I ever dreamed.