Thursday, September 11, 2008

Here I am, World!

Okay, I have to admit that like many newbie bloggers I'm rather nervous about creating a blog. And yet, I'm drawn to it rather unresistably. After all, some of my friends have blogs that I greatly enjoy. And for someone who tends to hold back from speaking to avoid saying the wrong thing it draws me at a deeper level - because I do long to share what I think!

I can see many positives to blogging. In today's world it is a very easy, convenient way to keep friends and loved ones up to date on what is happening in my life. Yet, I have to confess to having feared the idea of blogging for some time as well. After all there is power and permanence in the written word. I stumble over my spoken words all the time, but there is usually the opportunity right at the same moment to laugh at myself and diffuse any verbal blunders. You don't get that chance in cyberspace. I have nursed a long held fear of the consequences of writing something that I really didn't mean or inadvertently hurting someone's feelings or - the worst one - somehow coming across as an absolute idiot. And with a blog there is a chance that my humiliating text will survive indefinitely in infamy. Even if the blog is removed there is the chance that someone could have read what I wrote and then copy/pasted it onto their hard drive and I would have no way of knowing who they were or what they would do with my words.

We talked about fear in the Bible study I attend on Tuesday mornings. We were finishing up a study of Wisdom in the book of Proverbs by Beth Moore. I won't try to describe the ladies I meet with on Tuesday mornings in too much detail right now - they are enough material for several posts all their own! I will simply say that I love them all and am continually blessed by our time together. So, getting back to fear...the basic gist of the bit on fear talked about how much we tend to let fear rule our lives. My fear of humiliation and lack of control over people's reactions to my writing has kept me from not only blogging, but also from many chances to express myself on things that really do matter to me. Beth Moore said something like, (I'm probably quoting this badly,but anyway) fear of things in your life while destroy, but fear of God will give you life. I don't want to be controlled by my fears. I want to be willing to hand them over to God. I know that He is more than capable of putting my fears in their rightful place. I want to live fully trusting that God is going to be with me no matter what the future may bring. No matter what anyone thinks of what I write! And, maybe, just maybe, there is the possibility that some reader might be blessed by something I bother to type out - and that would make God happy, which I think would be awesome!

'Till Next Time!