Tuesday, January 15, 2013

On being a "real" Blogger....or not

Sometimes I have the darndest time just getting started....on pretty much anything. When it comes to blogging I often have ideas in my head for a post, but will get tripped up over silly details....like the title. After all the title has to be catchy, right? Draw folks in. Then somewhere in the back of my mind I hear a voice (probably an old English teacher) saying, "Just start writing. The rest will work itself out." "Okay, okay." I respond to the voice. "Stop nagging me." (Oh, yes, I talk to myself all the time.)

My problem is a lack of focus combined with a severe over-thinking tendency and topped off with a great amount of insecurity about why anyone would want to read what I write anyway. When I do occasionally get up the nerve to actually click on the publish button I am flooded with conflicting doubts. I don't know if my greatest fear is that no one will read it. In which case - why did I even bother? Or if someone WILL read it - and then, no matter how insignificant the post may seem I have let myself be vulnerable to another human being. Let's face, Folks, that is just flat out terrifying sometimes. 

I also know that I let the silliest little things trip me up. I have read ALL kinds of articles that give advice on blogs and how to make them "successful." One tip I read said you need to find your "niche," because all the BEST blogs have a specific focus. That shut me down for months. Just what the heck IS my niche anyway? Should I focus on my thoughts on God and religion? I have lots of those. Oh, wait, no, maybe I should focus on raising girls - I do have three daughters. No, no, what about being a single mom? Wait, wait, what about running and getting healthier in mind, body, and soul? Or what about all those random thoughts that get in  my head and won't go away? What about mis-matched socks? Don't laugh - there is a LOT to say there. Every time I have tried to find just one thing to claim as my "Thing" I have felt like I was ignoring a significant part of me that deserved to have a voice. And, true to my history, I just avoided writing anything at all.

Another tip I read was to publish posts on a regular schedule. Not too often, not too seldom. They even give advice on what time of day posts should go out. Oh, good grief. Let's be honest. I still struggle with making sure I floss every single day. And they say I need to have a "schedule" for blogging? 

There are many other tips and bits of advice I have come across that claim to tell you how to write a "successful" blog. Well, let's face it - this ain't one. And, I realized that isn't why I started it in the first place. I just wanted someplace I could go to and put the thoughts in my head down on paper - or type them out at least. And not all have to be "published" on the web. Although, for me, that is an important step in overcoming fear. So, occasionally I do hit that "publish" button. Maybe, just maybe, someone will read it and laugh or be comforted by the thought that they are not alone. 

If you haven't noticed I love quotes. And this one was huge for me:

I am a runner because I run. And I am a blogger because I blog. It does not matter if the only person who reads what I post is my sister. (Thanks, Jeanette!!) It does not matter how regular or erratic I am. And I does not even matter how good or bad my posts are. (Thank goodness!!) What matters is that I do it.